By Samantha Chukwuemeka
This should be the most embarrassing ER case I’ve seen.
I’ve seen a lot of foreign objects being pulled out of different parts of the body. I’ve seen a spider being pulled out of someone’s ear, dildo from the an*s, bead from the nose Etc, but I haven’t seen a condom being pulled out of a lady’s vag**a..not until this lady in her late teens showed up at the ER.
Getting a condom stuck in your vag**a is quite worrisome but not as distressing as having your mother follow you to the hospital by force too. Getting to the ER, she requested to see a female doctor and was claiming she was feeling something ‘moving’ inside her. The mother was all spiritual and said the daughter had been attacked by some supernatural powers and that’s why things are moving inside her. The mother was so serious and was rubbing some oil she brought along on the lady’s belly and praying . It was so funny to us.
When the doctor was asking the lady questions about the symptoms she was having, she was noticed to be looking away and acting shy so the mother was asked to leave. As soon as the mother left, she jolted up to our surprise and was begging the doctors to help her that she was feeling she was going to die. She said she wasn’t actually feeling anything move inside but lied. She told the doctor she had sex about a week ago and while it was going on, the condom slipped and got stuck inside her.
She claimed the guy stopped and tried to get it out but he couldn’t and advised her to go to the hospital but she was too embarrassed to go and so she waited, hoping it would get out eventually but it didnt. She said she tried everything possible and even had to google about how to get it out, all to no avail.
She tried squatting and straining but it wouldn’t come out. She even said she drank a lot of water so she could urinate more often and flush it out. My guess is she didn’t know that where urine comes out from is different from where you have sex.
Our major issue was what to tell the mother because despite the fact that she was told to excuse us, she kept peeping and stretching to see what was going on. A doctor told her to get a ‘drug’ quickly from a pharmacy outside that she would have to drive and we were sure that drug doesn’t even exist. Hehehe
After consenting, the lady was then taken to an examination room and forceps were used to carefully and successfully remove the condom. The lady was so happy, she said she thought it would melt inside her and she would just die. We all laughed. When the mother came back, without the ‘drug'(lol), the doctor wrote some antibiotics for the lady and told the mother that the antibiotics would stop the feeling and that the lady had explained everything when she was away.
The lady told the mother she felt relieved and she wanted to go home so they left. We joked about it the whole day.
Samantha is a health practitioner, and writes from Port Harcourt, Nigeria.